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    Quarter-life crisis: Things we do

    First of all a big thank you to everyone who reached out to me with advice, questions, concerns, shoulder to cry on, jokes :/ — yes that too. It was reassuring to know that I am not alone. I may not exactly qualify to be the voice of the generation, but I was glad that the post struck a chord.  Also, the feedback I got from all you folks is what the following post is all about. So thank you once again J. We are all connected in a strange yet wonderful manner. Before I move to a philosophical tangent, let me come back to the agenda. What are the things we do to deal with this crisis? (I like to call it crisis because I like drama. It may not be very catastrophic in nature but in my head everything is larger than life. So works!)

    • Realization- This is the trickiest part. While popular media often suggest that there is nothing like quarter-life crisis and it is merely a creation of an idle mind. That’s bullshit. Apparently, two thirds of young adults go through this. Thus, it is a valid phase of life that all of us pass through, some decide to acknowledge while others just float along. Take for example mid-life crisis, when fathers want to buy an SUV, not because they need it but because that’s their way of dealing with it. Similarly, let’s not minimise what’s happening in there. * points to the head * Accept everything that’s happening around you, inside you and make a mental note of the same. I know this might be tedious but it is a great way to be self-aware. Remember, it is a real issue and not a figment of your imagination.
    • Self doubt – Trust me, this is the worst thing you can do to yourself. And I know there is no escape but from time to time do make sure to slap yourself back to senses. Willowing in self-pity and expecting the same from others is not going to take you anywhere. It is only going to push you down the spiral stairs into the rabbit hole of despair. So appreciate all the talents you have – both hidden and those you are yet to discover. I recently figured that I have a natural talent for cooking and trust me some of the things I experiment with are quite life changing. Hehe.
    • Going back to school – Most of us are victims of a faulty education system. In fact all of us, at least in this country. A few lucky ones managed to escape and came back more enlightened or did not return at all – good for you guys. But the rest of us are suffering or will suffer at the hands of this system. It is only natural to feel ill equipped to do a certain job during this phase – blame it on competition, contemporaries who are doing well or because you feel you are stuck in the wrong profession. But do you think going abroad and adding another degree to your list is the solution? No. In fact it beats the purpose because this way you end up spending couple of years in school while your best friend is out her honeymoon.
      So in my humble opinion, take some time out and think why you really want to do that course in international affairs or South Asian studies. Chances are you don’t, what you have studied and the experience you have gained are enough to get through this. The best you can do is taking a break to realign your goals.
    • Casual relationships, break ups and all that – While these events are not exactly crisis specific but how we deal with them maybe/can be impacted by our state of mind. During this phase, we are like bombs just waiting to explode. Tiniest of the arguments send us running through the exit door. Stop doing that. No really. Because our brain temporarily loses its ability to reason and we end up taking rash decisions. By the way, you should totally run the opposite direction if you are dating a jerk. 

    The ride has just begun; hope your seatbelts are tightened!

    Have been watching this super series called Girls (below). You should too.

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      Blind Tasting - BMW Guggenheim lab in Mumbai

      “See the city in a whole new light…by not seeing it at all” read the Facebook invite for an event organised by the BMW Guggenheim Lab in Mumbai. And without probing any further into the description of the event, I signed up and landed at Mahim beach the next afternoon. Once there, I am greeted by a bunch of eager folks, people like me, and soon excitement takes over anticipation.

       Within a few minutes, I am blindfolded. I can hear and sense the sharp sun, the saltiness of the beach and soon a soft voice whispers in my ears, “Hello, I am Dawood”. Dawood was my guide for the blind-guided tour of Mahim beach and parts of Dharavi organized by the lab.

      BMW Guggenheim is a mobile laboratory traveling around the world to inspire innovative ideas for urban life with the help of free programs and public participation. After New York and Berlin, the lab is Mumbai in collaboration with the Dr. Bhau Daji Lad Museum.

      We walk a few minutes while exchanging details about each other. Dawood is 18 and works at an AC repair shop. Soon our questions become more personal. “Apka bf hai? (Do you have a boyfriend)” he asks. I take a second to answer and say “nahi (no)”. I could sense his disappointment. I was going through the weirdest experience of my life. Blindfolded, talking to a complete stranger, who I had never seen before.

       The basic idea of this fun social experiment was to discover how our experience of space changes when we are unable to see, and how then we become more aware of sounds, smells, and sensations, which we tend to overlook. But after the two-hour walk, the group came out learning a lot more than just that.

      I, like other women in the group realized that when I was blindfolded I also managed to shut out everyday experiences of the ethereal male gaze and was a lot more at ease. Others felt more confident while walking on busy streets because they knew they were being taken care of by a guide. For me I came out learning how I could trust a complete stranger and found it difficult to let go of him even after our tour had ended. Also, correct me if I am wrong here, I think when all our senses are alert, they probably end up clashing with the other. Muting one of them, could make the other more attentive? No?

      As funny as this may sound, but I couldn’t talk to Dawood for a few minutes when my blindfold came off. But soon we were back to our chatty selves, before he said goodbye and vanished in the crowd.

       Now, I know I may have completely missed the point of this experiment, but I discovered things about myself and was very satisfied with the outcome. In a city that makes a stranger feel like its own and makes its ownfeel alone, I have only one thing to say. Bombay, you surprise me.


       

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      (Clockwise from left to right: a graffiti poster made by the volunteers at Mahim beach, the beautiful backdrop against which all the action took place, session in progress, before it began, Dawood, my guide :), session continues to interest all. Centre: blindfolded fun)

       

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          culturecola:

          If your weekends involved an early morning bike ride to Nandi hills after the strenuous night shifts, you’d know what being ‘Bangalored’ means. If your evenings were spent sipping home brewed beer at Toit on a happy day or guzzling cheap draught off a dirty mug in Stones during those strained…

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              Life is a question of nerves, and fibres, and slowly built-up cells in which thought hides itself and passion has its dreams. You may fancy yourself safe and think yourself strong. But a chance tone of colour in a room or a morning sky, a particular perfume that you had once loved and that brings subtle memories with it, a line from a forgotten poem that you had come across again, a cadence from a piece of music that you had ceased to play… I tell you, that it is on things like these that our lives depend.
              Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray (via bookmania)
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                Did your wish come true?please tell.
                Anonymous

                Which wish.

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                    India's Grand Canyon

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                    “It’s a tyre puncture,” I sighed. “Why does this always happens to us?,” she said from the back of the car. “Let’s get down,” another voice chipped in. We all stumbled out of the car, holding on to a million things that were more eager to fall out than us, and stretched our cramped limbs and back. And then, we looked around. As always, Spiti had made a tyre puncture so worth it. It was almost mocking us and our flat tyre by its sheer barrenness, the way it just simply existed all around you and made you feel as tiny as a bee in front of a giant. 

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                    Spiti, part of the district Lahaul & Spiti in Himachal Pradesh, is raw, wild, almost empty and, according to me, has the most magnificent terrain in North India. For miles on end, we travelled on what our driver thought and hence drove on, a road, which was simply pile of rocks extended to hundreds of kilometres. I can understand why it was mistaken as a road. The rest of the landscape was either dust, or mountains. And the mountains were nothing less than the Grand Canyon. “Why would anybody go to the Grand Canyon when we have Spiti?” my fellow traveller asked and I nodded in agreement. I haven’t seen the Grand Canyon, and I’m sure it will be just as breath taking, but at that moment, I did not give it a second thought. There was no need to. 

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                    They say mountains have souls. Or the river is the one who speaks. In Spiti, it’s all different. The mountains, the rivers, the rocks, the road, they are all like characters of one giant movie. Not even the main characters — they are more like supporting actors, aiding and abetting the story, but never in the limelight. The star of the show was the landscape. The terrain had a soul. It almost felt like one day Monet, Da Vinci, Van Gogh, Picasso, Dali all sat down around one huge canvas and painted for years on end. That’s what Spiti feels like. It’s a place which almost seems alive and you can feel it talking, running, growing with you.

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                      instagram.com/p/NSv1iJARoq/#nasradeb instagram.com/p/NTJZnLw0gX/#rtrcni
                      Ramadan Begins

                      #Ramadan, the Muslim holy month, begins around the world this weekend. No food or drink is allowed from dawn to dusk during Ramadan, but when it’s time to eat, the suhoor (morning meal) and iftar (evening meal) can be feasts.

                      Muslims believe Allah revealed the first verses of the Quran to Prophet Muhammad during Ramadan. The sighting of the new moon officially signals the start of the holiday and since the Muslim lunar calendar moves back through the seasons, Ramadan starts 11 days earlier each year under the Western calendar. The holiday began in Thailand and Indonesia on Friday. India, Pakistan, Malaysia and Bangladesh will start Saturday or Sunday.

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